If so I’m ready - we both are. But we’re damn scared too. Today however was a pretty great visit outside of the fact that T is a pretty strong willed child and can be a bit defiant if she doesn’t get here way. Is this typical or are we in for trouble? We certainly can’t discipline her yet nor can we set boundaries. Right now we believe she sees us more as playmates than her parents. It’s going to be a tough transition for her since she rules the orphanage as the oldest kid. We wouldn’t be surprised if when she’s in school she’ll be telling the teacher what to do. That said, we did get her to say her first word in English today: More. And she does have a very sweet side as she loves to give hugs and kisses. In fact, when she saw us today she ran right up to us and greeted us with a hug and a kiss.
As for N, he is sweet and much more on the quiet side than T but today he opened up a bit more: laughing, smiles and generally more playful. When I (Roger) was bouncing him on a large ball and I would stop to ask if he wanted “more?” he responded with “da” which is Russian for “yes.” It was really the first time he verbally responded to us and we are taking that as a very good sign.
When play-time was over we watched them eat a snack and drink some apple juice. They really shoved down their food and drinks. Neither of them use sippy-cups. To our surprise, the caregivers give them their drinks in regular cups.
Today was also the last time we will see them until we return in four to six weeks for our court date. Then we get to bring them home and the real fun starts - we can’t wait. We keep hearing how much kids improve once they leave the orphanage so it’s pretty hard to know you can’t be working with them while you’re waiting for a date to return. But we are sure they’ll be fine. They’ve been through a lot already and from this point forward it’s only going to get better and better.
Tomorrow is a short day of sightseeing and then early to bed. We need to be up by 3 a.m. to make our flight for home. Our next post will be from there.
Thanks again everyone for the wonderful comments. Being able to read your thoughts have really help us get through this week.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Houston we have lift off...
We can now try to breath. I’ve been telling myself to just breath all week but tonight I feel we may actually be able to do that. We have after many evaluations, conversations, playful interactions, sleepless nights, and stressful days made the decision to bring these two children into our lives.
One of our greatest concerns about N (boy--remember I can’t publish names yet) was put to rest after two different doctor evaluations. While there’s no guarantee in life with any child, an institutionalized child will definitely have risk factors and developmental delays. We knew that much when we started this journey and it seems (without a crystal ball) that that should be our worst case scenario.
Tomorrow we will sign some documents and then go to the orphanage in the afternoon for one last visit.
At the end of our visit on Tuesday with T & N the caregiver had said to T to say “goodbye” to us. Well, T just turned around to Roger and lifted her arms for Roger to pick her up, and so he did, then she looked at the caregiver with the saddest eyes and cried real tears. I don’t know how but she seems to be attached to Roger in only two visits. Roger says he has that affect on woman. :-0 Anyway, we witnessed them having big hearts and smiling faces with great potential.
It was way more of an emotional rollercoaster of a ride than I had ever even anticipated. We are beyond exhausted. I always seem to say “if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be” ...that there are life lessons to be learned. I can’t seem to figure out why this week had to be this way. What was I supposed to learn? I do, however, know that Roger and I deeply appreciate everyones positive thoughts, wishes, and prayers that you’ve been sending our way. I’ll close with a couple of photos ...one a teaser...
One of our greatest concerns about N (boy--remember I can’t publish names yet) was put to rest after two different doctor evaluations. While there’s no guarantee in life with any child, an institutionalized child will definitely have risk factors and developmental delays. We knew that much when we started this journey and it seems (without a crystal ball) that that should be our worst case scenario.
Tomorrow we will sign some documents and then go to the orphanage in the afternoon for one last visit.
At the end of our visit on Tuesday with T & N the caregiver had said to T to say “goodbye” to us. Well, T just turned around to Roger and lifted her arms for Roger to pick her up, and so he did, then she looked at the caregiver with the saddest eyes and cried real tears. I don’t know how but she seems to be attached to Roger in only two visits. Roger says he has that affect on woman. :-0 Anyway, we witnessed them having big hearts and smiling faces with great potential.
It was way more of an emotional rollercoaster of a ride than I had ever even anticipated. We are beyond exhausted. I always seem to say “if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be” ...that there are life lessons to be learned. I can’t seem to figure out why this week had to be this way. What was I supposed to learn? I do, however, know that Roger and I deeply appreciate everyones positive thoughts, wishes, and prayers that you’ve been sending our way. I’ll close with a couple of photos ...one a teaser...
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
a development
Sorry for not posting earlier.
Well...we have concerns about N (the boy) and are going to perform one more evaluation today to determine if we will accept this referral. It's been such an emotional rollercoaster! I really don't want to share particulars yet, but the medical analysis may be more than what we're able to tackle long term. As details have emerged, he's had a very rough life right from the beginning.
I really don't know what else to say at this point. Since they are siblings we can't and wouldn't separate them. She has typical orphanage delays but it appears nothing long term. It's all so sad.
Well...we have concerns about N (the boy) and are going to perform one more evaluation today to determine if we will accept this referral. It's been such an emotional rollercoaster! I really don't want to share particulars yet, but the medical analysis may be more than what we're able to tackle long term. As details have emerged, he's had a very rough life right from the beginning.
I really don't know what else to say at this point. Since they are siblings we can't and wouldn't separate them. She has typical orphanage delays but it appears nothing long term. It's all so sad.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
More details/comments
Now that I’ve had a few hours of sleep, I feel like I can add a few more details and comments. I haven’t been able to get more than a few hours sleep since we’ve been here. I’m actually surprised by that seeing as how tired I am when I go to bed. Roger again did most of the typing last night as I was just too spent from the day, but put in my two cents here and there.
Yesterdays MOE appt. at 11:00 only lasted about 15 minutes. We were really nervous and stressed that morning before attending the meeting. Didn’t have to be…it was very simple and quick. Three women officials sit in a room with you and your translator. The head lady (speaking only in Russian) gives a brief description of the children’s parents, the birthdates of the children, how long they’ve been in the orphanage and then basically if we would like permission to go meet them. All the while watching the Russian lady speak, then turning to our translator for her to repeat all that was said to us and then turning back to the head lady. It felt a little strange to be staring at this woman and not understanding a word she says.
After this appt. we were not able to go see the children until 4pm. By the time we would have gotten to the orphanage the children would just about be going for their afternoon nap, so we would wait until later to go there.
Our driver picked us up at 3pm. for the drive to the orphanage. It ‘s really not too far but takes about 50 minutes in the traffic. I could write an entire post about the driving and traffic in Moscow. (I might if I find I’m restless again) Honestly, if someone offered me a million dollars to drive around the city here for a day, I would say NO. Anyway, we meet and play with the children from 4-6:15, then make the drive back. By the time we get back to the hotel we’re starving and stressed and tired, but had to type up and send out our info to the int’l adoption doc. I have to give Roger credit where credit is due. You see, after we both played and met with the children for a little bit, the caretaker came in to answer all questions about their daily life/routine in the orphanage, and then the doctor came in to fill us in on all their medical information past and present. One of us had to listen intently and ask all the questions while the other kept the children occupied. Roger did a great job playing on the floor with them while I did the listening to the Russian and then the translator again. All the while we’re both trying to take photos and video footage. We were simply exhausted from the day. It went well, though, and we hope to have more information to share much later today.
Yesterdays MOE appt. at 11:00 only lasted about 15 minutes. We were really nervous and stressed that morning before attending the meeting. Didn’t have to be…it was very simple and quick. Three women officials sit in a room with you and your translator. The head lady (speaking only in Russian) gives a brief description of the children’s parents, the birthdates of the children, how long they’ve been in the orphanage and then basically if we would like permission to go meet them. All the while watching the Russian lady speak, then turning to our translator for her to repeat all that was said to us and then turning back to the head lady. It felt a little strange to be staring at this woman and not understanding a word she says.
After this appt. we were not able to go see the children until 4pm. By the time we would have gotten to the orphanage the children would just about be going for their afternoon nap, so we would wait until later to go there.
Our driver picked us up at 3pm. for the drive to the orphanage. It ‘s really not too far but takes about 50 minutes in the traffic. I could write an entire post about the driving and traffic in Moscow. (I might if I find I’m restless again) Honestly, if someone offered me a million dollars to drive around the city here for a day, I would say NO. Anyway, we meet and play with the children from 4-6:15, then make the drive back. By the time we get back to the hotel we’re starving and stressed and tired, but had to type up and send out our info to the int’l adoption doc. I have to give Roger credit where credit is due. You see, after we both played and met with the children for a little bit, the caretaker came in to answer all questions about their daily life/routine in the orphanage, and then the doctor came in to fill us in on all their medical information past and present. One of us had to listen intently and ask all the questions while the other kept the children occupied. Roger did a great job playing on the floor with them while I did the listening to the Russian and then the translator again. All the while we’re both trying to take photos and video footage. We were simply exhausted from the day. It went well, though, and we hope to have more information to share much later today.
What a day!
Well, we met the kids today and all seemed to go picture perfect. They are both in good health as far as we can tell for now but we are about to send all the information to our international adoption doctor in the states for his recommendations. We will also be going there twice tomorrow for more play time, interaction with the kids and more information gathering.
The girl is a bright, outgoing and a definite mother figure toward her little brother. Her brother is a bit more quiet and very ticklish. They both took a liking to us and even gave us hugs and kisses goodbye.
Surprisingly the orphanage was amazing. Very clean and well cared for. There are an abundant amount of toys and they are all well organized. In fact, the kids put each of the toys back in their rightful place once they are done playing with them. Crazy, right? It kind of made us feel ill-prepared to bring the kids home to less toys, hotter temperatures, a smaller playroom and a smaller yard to play in. The kids are going to think that they got the short end of the stick. Although, the kids loved the iPhone and digital camera so we have that up on the orphanage. Most importantly, the caretakers obviously love the kids and they love their caretakers right back.
We are beyond exhausted and are falling asleep as we type this - it was a very stressful day regardless of how smooth the appointment with the Ministry of Education went. More tomorrow when we are awake and coherent. Thanks for everyone’s thoughts and hopes for us.
The girl is a bright, outgoing and a definite mother figure toward her little brother. Her brother is a bit more quiet and very ticklish. They both took a liking to us and even gave us hugs and kisses goodbye.
Surprisingly the orphanage was amazing. Very clean and well cared for. There are an abundant amount of toys and they are all well organized. In fact, the kids put each of the toys back in their rightful place once they are done playing with them. Crazy, right? It kind of made us feel ill-prepared to bring the kids home to less toys, hotter temperatures, a smaller playroom and a smaller yard to play in. The kids are going to think that they got the short end of the stick. Although, the kids loved the iPhone and digital camera so we have that up on the orphanage. Most importantly, the caretakers obviously love the kids and they love their caretakers right back.
We are beyond exhausted and are falling asleep as we type this - it was a very stressful day regardless of how smooth the appointment with the Ministry of Education went. More tomorrow when we are awake and coherent. Thanks for everyone’s thoughts and hopes for us.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Full-time husband and guest blogger
Hello everyone. Joanne has been kind enough to allow me to write a post. Don’t get the wrong impression - she’s not a control freak about our blog - I’m just usually too busy.
Today was a day of sightseeing and simply walking around Moscow. The city reminds me of Sarande, Albania and Spilt, Croatia combined. You can read that as some great history and interesting architecture that’s runs the range of amazing to tear it down and put up some nice condos. But all-in-all, it’s a pretty nice place.
As for our primary reason for this trip, we are very excited and yet have a lot of nervous anticipation with the tomorrow’s introduction of the kids. For those who don’t know, we can’t post their names or pictures until after the court proceedings on the second trip. So for now, “kids” will have to suffice.
We have just finished packing our “bribery bag” for them. It has the usual items one would expect; toys of various shapes, sizes and colors as well as some food such as cheese crackers and cookies. We’re hoping they will take a liking to us more because of our interaction with them rather than the goodies but one has to be prepared to do what’s necessary.
We’ve been thinking about what’s “necessary” a lot on this trip. What I mean is that we’ve been putting ourselves in the kids shoes. No matter how much of an emotional roller coster we’ve been on it’s nothing compared to what will be going through their little heads once they are ours. “Who are these people?” “They’re nice and they give us candy and toys but they sure speak funny” “What’s this moving machine that’s lifting us in the air? “Why is it so hot in the new place?” Their thoughts and questions will be endless and confusing. But we will work through as all parents work through issues. Wish us luck because we’re gonna need it.
We’ll close with some photos of the sights.
Today was a day of sightseeing and simply walking around Moscow. The city reminds me of Sarande, Albania and Spilt, Croatia combined. You can read that as some great history and interesting architecture that’s runs the range of amazing to tear it down and put up some nice condos. But all-in-all, it’s a pretty nice place.
As for our primary reason for this trip, we are very excited and yet have a lot of nervous anticipation with the tomorrow’s introduction of the kids. For those who don’t know, we can’t post their names or pictures until after the court proceedings on the second trip. So for now, “kids” will have to suffice.
We have just finished packing our “bribery bag” for them. It has the usual items one would expect; toys of various shapes, sizes and colors as well as some food such as cheese crackers and cookies. We’re hoping they will take a liking to us more because of our interaction with them rather than the goodies but one has to be prepared to do what’s necessary.
We’ve been thinking about what’s “necessary” a lot on this trip. What I mean is that we’ve been putting ourselves in the kids shoes. No matter how much of an emotional roller coster we’ve been on it’s nothing compared to what will be going through their little heads once they are ours. “Who are these people?” “They’re nice and they give us candy and toys but they sure speak funny” “What’s this moving machine that’s lifting us in the air? “Why is it so hot in the new place?” Their thoughts and questions will be endless and confusing. But we will work through as all parents work through issues. Wish us luck because we’re gonna need it.
We’ll close with some photos of the sights.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Pree-vyet! (Hi!)
Our first post from Moscow.
Our trip over was pleasantly uneventful. Everything was actually on time, even with our short layovers it all went very easily. Because of the short layovers in Philly and Frankfurt the trip actually went by pretty quickly and we were never bored. We tried to sleep for about 3 hours, but only managed to get about 30 minutes.
I had heard last week from another adoptive family who arrived here that upon our arrival in Moscow we would have to have our temperature taken before we get off the plane because of the swine flu. And sure enough, they came onboard with an infrared type device to scan our ear for a fever. Once everyone was clear we were able to deplane and head down to passport control. Roger and I have been to many foreign countries and this was the first time passport control had no sense of order. Other countries have queues (just like banks), and next in line goes up and so on...well, the people in the Moscow airport just crowd the area and you have to be somewhat aggressive if you ever want to get to the agent.
We arrived to rain and they say it should rain on and off for the rest of the week. We're quite alright with that. It beats Russia with snow and 10 degrees and beats the 100 degrees temps we've experienced already in AZ. Our very smiley translator/driver (Max--although when he says it, it sounds like Mox, but I'm pretty sure it's Max) was waiting for us after we claimed our bags and then off we went to the city center of Moscow. About a 30 mile drive. We then crashed in the room for a couple hours once unpacked.
So far we haven't done much else besides walk to St. Basil's and Red Square (which are close to the hotel)(and so uniquely stunning). Monday we will walk around more and do some souvenir shopping so the kids will have something to remember their country by. Paka for now! (Bye)
Our trip over was pleasantly uneventful. Everything was actually on time, even with our short layovers it all went very easily. Because of the short layovers in Philly and Frankfurt the trip actually went by pretty quickly and we were never bored. We tried to sleep for about 3 hours, but only managed to get about 30 minutes.
I had heard last week from another adoptive family who arrived here that upon our arrival in Moscow we would have to have our temperature taken before we get off the plane because of the swine flu. And sure enough, they came onboard with an infrared type device to scan our ear for a fever. Once everyone was clear we were able to deplane and head down to passport control. Roger and I have been to many foreign countries and this was the first time passport control had no sense of order. Other countries have queues (just like banks), and next in line goes up and so on...well, the people in the Moscow airport just crowd the area and you have to be somewhat aggressive if you ever want to get to the agent.
We arrived to rain and they say it should rain on and off for the rest of the week. We're quite alright with that. It beats Russia with snow and 10 degrees and beats the 100 degrees temps we've experienced already in AZ. Our very smiley translator/driver (Max--although when he says it, it sounds like Mox, but I'm pretty sure it's Max) was waiting for us after we claimed our bags and then off we went to the city center of Moscow. About a 30 mile drive. We then crashed in the room for a couple hours once unpacked.
So far we haven't done much else besides walk to St. Basil's and Red Square (which are close to the hotel)(and so uniquely stunning). Monday we will walk around more and do some souvenir shopping so the kids will have something to remember their country by. Paka for now! (Bye)
Friday, May 22, 2009
Here we go...
Ready or not, let's get this show on the road. We will try to post sometime on Sunday night for a brief update of the travel over. Thank You everyone all SO much for your encouraging comments, support, advice, love and for just being there. It means a lot to both Roger & I.
P.S. welcome Myra! Yea...you got on, and thank you for the beautiful comment!
P.S. welcome Myra! Yea...you got on, and thank you for the beautiful comment!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The Final Countdown
Well...it's here...the last week before we leave. It's starting to sink in that we leave one week from today. Luckily, our visa's arrived yesterday and they are correct.
I'm a creature of notes and my husband laughs about it. He likes to have every note, name, thought..you name it...all on his computer. I have little notes on scraps of paper that when I remember something I jot it down. From grocery lists, to do, names/phone numbers, etc... So in preparation for this trip, yesterday I created 3 tidy pieces of paper labeled: Mon.-Weds., Thurs, and Fri. So every time I think of what will have to be done before the trip I jot it down on the appropriate paper. Like on the Mon-Weds list, I have to go back down to the Sec. of State for another apostille (our FBI Clearances came in), and on Thursday is to give the dog a bath and wash her bed for my friend who will be taking care of her and bringing her to their 2nd home in the woods. She'll have a great camp experience! Friday is cleaning, taking care of the pool, getting a manicure, etc... The list is actually getting quite long for each day. I will continue to be very BUSY. My husbands job, not only to help me, but he's in charge of getting our iPhone's setup for international calling and getting the converters, plugs, gadgets, etc..
This weekend we are going to get started putting our house back into a somewhat organized manner. It got very disorganized with all the stuff being taken out of the two rooms we are preparing for the children. Oh..and the 2nd room will be painted this week, too.
I'm a creature of notes and my husband laughs about it. He likes to have every note, name, thought..you name it...all on his computer. I have little notes on scraps of paper that when I remember something I jot it down. From grocery lists, to do, names/phone numbers, etc... So in preparation for this trip, yesterday I created 3 tidy pieces of paper labeled: Mon.-Weds., Thurs, and Fri. So every time I think of what will have to be done before the trip I jot it down on the appropriate paper. Like on the Mon-Weds list, I have to go back down to the Sec. of State for another apostille (our FBI Clearances came in), and on Thursday is to give the dog a bath and wash her bed for my friend who will be taking care of her and bringing her to their 2nd home in the woods. She'll have a great camp experience! Friday is cleaning, taking care of the pool, getting a manicure, etc... The list is actually getting quite long for each day. I will continue to be very BUSY. My husbands job, not only to help me, but he's in charge of getting our iPhone's setup for international calling and getting the converters, plugs, gadgets, etc..
This weekend we are going to get started putting our house back into a somewhat organized manner. It got very disorganized with all the stuff being taken out of the two rooms we are preparing for the children. Oh..and the 2nd room will be painted this week, too.
Monday, May 11, 2009
We built it, now let's see if they come...
The wood floor installation of the two bedrooms are now complete. Whew! That's a load off our minds (and back). Her room is now completely done. We still have to paint his room. It'll be a shade of blue.
I hope the glue fumes didn't damage any brain cells, as I believe I'll definitely be needing all of them to keep up with these kids. ;-) By the way....Happy belated Mother's Day to all you moms out there! One of the most difficult jobs. You all deserve much more than a day to celebrate all you do!
We received our FBI Clearances in the mail today. Looks like we're "cleared" by the FBI and good to go. Whoa-who! I believe now we have to get those notarized and apostilled and we'll more than likely bring them with us instead of mailing them. Also, went to the bank today and picked up over 29K worth of Russian Rubles. Sounds like a lot, but it's really about $1,000 US Dollars. Not much else to report. Just doing a lot of running around, trying to find bedroom furniture and register for my shower my friends are so graciously throwing for me.
I can't believe how close this trip is getting.... 12 days til we depart the USA!
I'll sign off with a picture of the girls room with the finished floors.
I hope the glue fumes didn't damage any brain cells, as I believe I'll definitely be needing all of them to keep up with these kids. ;-) By the way....Happy belated Mother's Day to all you moms out there! One of the most difficult jobs. You all deserve much more than a day to celebrate all you do!
We received our FBI Clearances in the mail today. Looks like we're "cleared" by the FBI and good to go. Whoa-who! I believe now we have to get those notarized and apostilled and we'll more than likely bring them with us instead of mailing them. Also, went to the bank today and picked up over 29K worth of Russian Rubles. Sounds like a lot, but it's really about $1,000 US Dollars. Not much else to report. Just doing a lot of running around, trying to find bedroom furniture and register for my shower my friends are so graciously throwing for me.
I can't believe how close this trip is getting.... 12 days til we depart the USA!
I'll sign off with a picture of the girls room with the finished floors.
Monday, May 4, 2009
I can cross two things off the list
Travel arrangements are made. Visa's ordered. Whew! We are leaving PHX on May 23rd bright and early, then flying to PHL and then onto Frankfurt on US Airways, change to Lufthansa for our flight to Moscow. Double whew! But, AT LEAST, we were able to use our US Airway points! YIPPPEEEE!!! We've been saving them in hopes we would be able to use them. I think the agent actually over-rode the seats for us to do this on the flight home. We will meet with the Ministry of Education and then from there go to meet the kiddos for the first time on Tuesday, May 26th. We wanted to fly home on Saturday the 30th but she couldn't make anything happen that day so we will fly home VERY early on Sunday the 31st.
In the meantime, I am so incredibly busy with things to get, finish projects around the house (namely installing the wood floors), and phone calls/appt.'s to make. And, think about furniture/decorating the rooms....All while trying to learn more Russian. We may just have to cram on the plane for that one. At least we've got several words and phrases down.
We're still undecided about the names. Do we change or not (we have to let them know while on Trip #1), either way their names will either be their first or middle names. I guess we just wait and see what our hearts tell us when we meet them.
I am a very organized person and having two rooms completely emptied (along with all that was contained in their walk-in closets) spread out amongst my house is freaking me out a bit. All in due time...that's what I keep saying to myself.
So now we wait for the Visa's to come in, the FBI clearances to come in and our extended I171-H to arrive.
I'm a bit sad I won't be going to the Vlad Inn in Vladivostok (which was our original assignment) like so many of you bloggers out there have experienced. It's not the greatest hotel, but from all that I've read, the friendships created from all of the other adoptive families all staying at the hotel would have been wonderful/life changing. The kids could play, you could always ask one of the other families for advice, etc... Moscow will be more isolated and lonely because adoptive parents are spread all over this big city. But, it is the birthplace of my children and we will make a great time of it. I'm just saying...ya know...sad.
Oh well, I better get back to getting some stuff done. Once home, I don't get how you adoptive moms out there find the time to continue blogging. I guess I'll find out.
In the meantime, I am so incredibly busy with things to get, finish projects around the house (namely installing the wood floors), and phone calls/appt.'s to make. And, think about furniture/decorating the rooms....All while trying to learn more Russian. We may just have to cram on the plane for that one. At least we've got several words and phrases down.
We're still undecided about the names. Do we change or not (we have to let them know while on Trip #1), either way their names will either be their first or middle names. I guess we just wait and see what our hearts tell us when we meet them.
I am a very organized person and having two rooms completely emptied (along with all that was contained in their walk-in closets) spread out amongst my house is freaking me out a bit. All in due time...that's what I keep saying to myself.
So now we wait for the Visa's to come in, the FBI clearances to come in and our extended I171-H to arrive.
I'm a bit sad I won't be going to the Vlad Inn in Vladivostok (which was our original assignment) like so many of you bloggers out there have experienced. It's not the greatest hotel, but from all that I've read, the friendships created from all of the other adoptive families all staying at the hotel would have been wonderful/life changing. The kids could play, you could always ask one of the other families for advice, etc... Moscow will be more isolated and lonely because adoptive parents are spread all over this big city. But, it is the birthplace of my children and we will make a great time of it. I'm just saying...ya know...sad.
Oh well, I better get back to getting some stuff done. Once home, I don't get how you adoptive moms out there find the time to continue blogging. I guess I'll find out.
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